So we passed this church while we were driving somewhere, and the name of it was "Free-will Baptist Church. I made the comment, "Well if that isn't blatent, I don't know what is." He commented back, "Yea, almost as blatent as Sovereign Grace Baptist Church" (my church back home). I laughed, because when someone zings you good, you have to laugh. Reminds me of Justin's comment to "What doesn't Geneva have?" ..."free will."
I miss you all something fierce, though I am faced continually with the fact that nothing will ever be the same as it was...and would I really wish it to be so. Sometimes my answer is yes. I remember specifically times when we were all hanging out, laughing and as happy as ever we could be...and wishing that, just like a movie, the credits would start roling, and life could freeze then, with everything so seemingly perfect. None of life's decision facing us...not really...not yet. Suspended and happy. I wonder if that's what Heaven will be like...moments of joy suspended...moment after moment of joy after joy...each one better than the last with the One who loves us most!
Once, while I was reminiscing over pictures from college, I made the comment how those were some of the best times of my life. Aaron, poor guy, listens patiently while I take him back through faces he has no memories with, timidly comments back...asking me if I'm just as happy for this time in my life with him. I could have cried...I saw all of your faces pass through my mind's eye...the hugs, the talks, the tears, the fights, the love...and then I saw his one face looking questioningly at me. ...my husband, who I don't know nearly as much as you all, and yet I do. Thank goodness for him, he who pulls me back to the present. The fact is you all left...well, I left really. You weren't enough to hold me there, even with all of the love I felt for you; I knew life had to change. Then there is Aaron, who took vows to take care of me for the rest of his life...everything of his, he offered me in return for my love. ...and he has it. Though I believe any of you would like to say you would die for me (and I for you), which of you has promised to live your life with me. That is is the best part obout being married...knowing that they won't leave you; knowing that you would never wish them to leave you...you've chosen your partner for life, and those memories you make with each other won't fade, because you'll always be there to remember them together. I think I told Aaron that this time in my life was so different that they couldn't be compared...in truth they can't, but after writing all of this, I know I said the wrong thing. My life with him is rich and oh so much more fulfilling...I need to tell him so.